Return of the Sub-Sub-Genres

Hello children. Let’s dive right in.

Italian Cannibalism

Sigh. Yes, it does exist as a film genre of its own, and yes, it is disgustingly intriguing (why else would it be mentioned?). I don’t need to take time in explaining it because the title describes it down to a tee. The movies are made by Italians. The movies are about primitive beings (usually) engaging in the act of cannibalism. The genre spawned in the early 70s. God knows why the Italian directors had this fixation of cannibalism all around the same time, and damnit, they are brutal; almost always featuring rape, killing (with various methods), beating, and just overall torture. I feel deranged having to explain such things, but when you watch them you get a rude awakening from seeing what has existed since the beginning of time. The epitome of Italian Cannibalism is Cannibal Holocaust. With such a name, you should know that it holds some weight on its shoulders. Still to this day, it is banned in multiple countries (and as a side-note, these films all will have on the cover "Most controversial movie of all time" or something to that effect, so there won't be too many accidental viewings I hope). If you thought the Hostel movies and the Saw movies were gruesome, have fun with this one. I won’t go into description, but. It’s filthy.

The thing is, the most disgusting parts to me are the animal deaths. Watching these make me want to become a vegetarian, because I know this is how most meat really is prepared, still for us today in factories (maybe workers don’t exactly slay chickens by impaling them with a stick they simply break off a tree, but you get the point). And with these films, they are so bare-to-the-bone and simply real that they help you not forget how humans still exist to this day; the methods and actions necessary to prevail through time. These films are a study of the human in its most stripped down model, and also what could be if we didn’t follow the morals and ethics we’re told to follow in society.

And I still love meat.

If you’re still interested, check some of these out:

Cannibal Holocaust, as mentioned early.

Cannibal Ferox

The Green Inferno

Heroic Bloodshed

You may be thinking Gladiator. You may be thinking Die Hard. You may be thinking of any Pauly Shore movie. You’d be wrong, wrong, and retarded. I’m talking about movies that make you think at least once while you’re watching them: “hehe, whoa. It feels like a video game”. I’m talking about the movies where characters have unlimited ammo; your enemies can be shot 5 times and still engage in a dual-pistol wielding gun fight; the majority of action scenes in the film are in slow-motion.

I’m talking about John Woo.

If you’ve never seen a John Woo movie, leave the computer now and go rent one. Actually, wait, read, support this wonderful site we’ve got going... And then go rent one. John Woo knows and shows exactly what we want to see. We want an engaging, coherent story that gives us the important concept of good versus bad. Good fights the bad. A few of the good members get shot and die, but they go unforgotten in their battle for the greater good of mankind for years to come (in the fictional world). He also gives us the most entertaining action movies ever captured on film [and edited and put into slow-motion].

One more thing he gives us is Chow Yun Fat kicking some ass.

Which is obviously awesome.

Check these out NOW:

Hard Boiled

The Killer

A Better Tomorrow

City On Fire (note Reservoir Dogs)

And Face/Off, just for good measure.

P.S. I forgot about Giallos, but I’ll post about them another time, turd-burglars.

-Ryan